Laurianne's Hope

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

For Shame!

I know I promised a Relay for Life continuation weeks ago. Life has been fast paced recently, but I know you will want to hear about how the sherrif came for my uncle and my husband. Those troublemakers!

Today I want to post about showing some restraint. Yesterday, my blog buddy Anne at Supposedly this is good therapy...posted about how she went out to dinner and a family at the next table made FUN of her while she was leaving. I am going to quote Supposedly this is good therapy...: My 300th post here:
You know..Ive been thinking that maybe I would do a really nice post for the 300th one. I didnt know it was up next.

Unfortunately Im not in a nice post mood.

I am in a blog-about-it mood though. So here goes.

I met AD, Baby Girl and Jackass for dinner tonight at Red Hot and Blue. Dinner was fine until we were leaving. Then (shit you not guys) the family in the booth behind us made fun of me.

Maybe made fun of me is a stretch. They were talking about me right in front of me. And the whole fucking table turned and looked at me. It was like three kids and two parents. And they made it really obvious that they were talking about me and staring at me.

Do you guys know how much that hurts?

And yeah. I was just wearing a scarf thing on my head. So it was really obvious and everything. And Im not trying to hide anything. But I cant believe that they were so obviously rude to me. And I know you guys are thinking that I am exaggerating. But AD noticed it too..and she was bitchy enough to look at them and say "Im sorry..did you say something to us?" and when the mom said no AD said "Yeah..I thought not. " And Im glad that she said that so that they could hopefully be embarassed about it...but really it just embarassed me more.

And I dont know why its bothering me so bad. It just is. I feel like a freak show right now. I cant believe how much it is bothering me. I totally pretended to AD that I didnt care. That they were just assholes. That I wasnt really hurt..just angry. But its opposite.

I just dont want to be like this anymore.

Part of me thinks that I look worse than what I know? Like I am picturing an upgraded version. So I dont know to think right now.

I know Im being petty. I just really wish that they could have talked about me after I left. I dont know why it was so important to have everyone at their table turn and look at me while I was still there.

Stupid fuckers. Okay. Maybe I am a little angry too.
It amazes me that grown adults would talk about someone with cancer right in front of them. It is one thing to talk about how Auntie Emily had cancer and had to wear something similar on her head. It is a whole other thing to point it out and make a person feel bad.

Sometimes it just takes a little reminder. Don't point, don't stare, don't make rude remarks. People like Anne are fighting a battle. Hair loss is just one of the battle scars. If you need to talk about it, wait until the person has left the room, at the very least.

Of course, I do like to think that these people are more of the exception than the rule. At least I hope so.

Lung Cancer AwarenessPosted by Lynda (Laurianne's Sister) :: 7:51 AM :: 2 people are more aware